I am feeling the familiar pull of financial stress at the corners of my life. Like I'm sitting in the middle of a blanket spread out on the ground, and all of my expenditures are gathering corners in their fists, taking up more and more ground. Letters from the place I get my car insurance that inform me there's been a non sufficient funds issue, and that when they try to take the money out again, it better be there. Text messages from my cell service provider, asking, "Did you remember to pay your bill?" for the second time. The invoice for my unpaid board at the barn sitting on the coffee table where I left it two weeks ago. A quarter tank of gas. And thirty dollars and change sitting ineffectually in my bank account.
Then, at dinner, my mother tries to give me an elementary school lesson on the balance of income and spending. I don't know if she means to be, but she's condescending. So I tell her that I understand that concept, as it is fairly simple. Then she says I should be paying board and room, and did I understand that?
No, I don't understand that. I didn't say anything.
Monday, October 29, 2007
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