intangibility

I don't have any tangible goals for riding, and I think that might be part of the problem. When I think about my goals for Sebastian and I, the only thing that comes to mind is "get better" or "get to where we used to be" or "get up to par." What do these things even mean?

Sometimes I feel like buying a whole different horse and starting over. But that's silly, of course.

I do feel good about the fact that I'm making more of an effort to get out and ride. I hope the whole summer is like this. I hope I feel motivated long enough to get a momentum going. And then in the fall, I'll try to find a lease for Sebastian, because I can't ride six days a week and go to school at the same time. I've tried it for the last two years, and it just isn't working out.

I'm at work right now, drinking the tail ends of cold office-coffee (the worst kind of coffee, short of church-coffee, in my opinion) and shivering under the unyeilding blasts of frigid air conditioning. Is it a rule that all offices must be sub-zero? I should move my whole desk out to the parking lot and do a little data entry under the sun.