"remembering" poem

remembering.

this is my daily task, my life’s work, my magnum opus:
remembering you.
every day I think about you, wonder where you went,
wonder where I went once you were gone.

we try to take the steps you’d take, we do.
we try to push forward
forward
forward
every day like you would have, we do.

but at the end of the day, when it’s quiet,
I sit very still and think about whether I’m doing a good enough job;
this job of remembering you.
this heavy work of not forgetting you.

what’s left?
after the urn is in the ground
after I put sunflowers on your grave
after I cried for you, for the loss of you
after everything was sold and given away and packed up in boxes
after nothing was the same
after our lost ambition
after the absence of your encouragement
after everything –
what’s left?

remembering.