on being okay

Umm, so. Do people write about actual things that happen in their lives when they blog, or is just abstract thoughts, like mine usually are?

I don't know.

Yesterday I went to a friend's wedding. There was weeping. It wasn't weeping out of pure joy for their love (although I am very happy for their love), it was the other kind of weeping: the sad kind of weeping. I didn't weep from start to finish, though. For the most part, I enjoyed myself. I thought the ceremony was beautiful and tasteful. The reception hall was gorgeous. The food was amazing and way too plentiful. The wine was one of my favourites. The speeches were touching, appropriate, and heartfelt.

It's just hard to see. Hard to experience. The second wedding of this friend. Remembering everything that happened at his first wedding. While he and his groomsmen sang to his new bride, I thought of how he sang to her, then, while his goofy best man played the guitar. Just things like that.

And then there's always Trinity, and her incredible physical likeness to Tanya. Her sweetness. Her innocence. And the promises made by Tara to take care of her.

I knew I would feel weird about the wedding, at least a little. I did feel weird about it, a little. But I am so, so, so happy for him and I was so honoured to be there to celebrate his happiness--their happiness--so that the weirdness was just sort of a background thing that didn't consume my mind (hardly ever), and it was okay.

It will be okay.

He'll be okay.